17 Things I’ve Learned in 17 Years


1.  People change.  Always.  Kevin and I are not the same twitterpated teens we were in high school when we met.  We’ve grown up together, shared some growing pains, but roll with the punches.

2.  Our worst fights start in the car.

3.  Despite how I blamed apartment-living for my laundry issues back in the early days, laundry has been and always will be my biggest housekeeping struggle.  It gets worse exponentially the more children you add to the household.

4. “Vacation” means different things to different people.  There’s a happy medium in there somewhere.

5.  A man is sexiest when he’s doing housework.

6.  Microwave popcorn is a cop-out and not to be tolerated in our home.

7.  You can never change someone else.  If there needs to be a change, you must start with yourself.

8.  Don’t ask questions you don’t want a truthful answer to.

9.  Despite what you wish were the case, your spouse is not a mind reader.  If you want him/her to know how you feel about something, you need to just lay it out there.  Gently.  Don’t expect them to understand just because you “shouldn’t have to explain”.

10.  When you ask a man to do something, give him a time frame.  I cannot tell you how many times I’ve asked my husband to do something, and he agrees, completely knowing and meaning he WILL do it.  I just meant for him to do it NOW, and that part didn’t translate, and I end up frustrated.  So now, I try to remember and ask, “Can you do XYZ before you leave” or “in the next 10 minutes”, whatever.

11.  It’s true that many a fight is over sex or money.  Men are happiest when their physical needs are being met on a regular basis.  Yep.  I went there.

12.  My husband will forgive a multitude of sins if I have his work clothes clean and ironed in the morning and a plate of food in front of him in the evening.

13.  God first.  Spouse Second.  Children Third.  (It’s easy to get these priorities out of order, because the kids are so demanding on your attention).

14.  Just because you should “be yourself” around your spouse does not mean get rid of your speech filter.  Ask yourself if what you’re saying is helpful vs. hurtful.

15.  Take the “Husband Encouragement Challenge” every so often.

16.  Learn to celebrate your differences and rely on one another’s strengths.  My husband has a mental compass in his head.  I do not. I happily rely on him to get us where we need to be, and try my best to not annoy him in the process  (See #2).

17.  It’s not always about the destination.  Sometimes you just need to chill and enjoy the ride.

Happy 17th, Kevin!


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About Laura

A Christian wife, mother, daughter, former educator, photographer, amateur chef, pretend gardener, alto 🎶, book nerd, cancer-survivor and laundry-hater.

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One Response to 17 Things I’ve Learned in 17 Years

  1. Jules June 7, 2014 at 8:16 am #

    Awesome lessons for all married people! This year will mark 24 years for Rusty and me and I’m still learning. Love you and thanks for sharing your words of wisdom.

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